Feelings Part I

I hate to admit this.... but I am having a really hard time with the thought of my brother getting married. I can't think of a better person to be my s.i.l., but I just don't think now is the time. My happiness should not matter in his relationship, but I want to throw a temper tantrum. I guess I should start at the beginning. Lord, I hope this stays in blogger land...

Beginning of March
My friend saw my future s.i.l. at a store buying maternity pants. She wanted to buy a stroller/car seat combo, too. Friend talked her out of it. She is NOT preggo. I found this odd, and thought my brother would totally freak the fuck out if he knew. Lots of gossiping with mom over this. But, future sil told my mom what she bought. Weird?!? I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable.

A week later....Every Wednesday we go to Granny's for dinner. While sitting at the table talking to the family and cutting up, I see future s.i.l. whispering to my mom. All I hear is "baby." I really freak the fuck out. What? Is she pregnant? I want to ask, but can't bring myself to. Surely, she would tell ME. I just choke instead. My heart is beating out of my chest. I leave and wait about 3o minutes to call mom.......
Me: Are you still at Granny's?
Mom: No, I'm on the other line with S. Can I call you back?
Me: UGH! As long as you will tell me what the fuck is going on?
Yes, very rude of me. I cursed while speaking to my mother.
She calls back and tells me that my brother, MY brother proposed the idea of having children to S. I'm lost. I don't think I know him. I thought I did. We were pretty close, but...do I really know him at all? She won't have children until she gets married. (Good for her)

End of March
I'm working hard on Sunday night to finish all the things I have to do for school on Monday. I always procrastinate. I am trying to drink, work, and watch Sopranos. I am busy! I am woman. I can multi-task. Phone rings..Who would call me during Sopranos? Everyone knows that you don't call my house on Sunday evening. Mom. hmm...

ME: hello?
Mom: Well, it looks like we're going to have a wedding.
Moments of silence......
Me to hubby: I'll be in the bedroom. Hubby to Friend: She's pissed.

Future s.i.l. and Mom had been out shopping. F.s.i.l. told mom they were getting married. hmmm.....no real proposal. I sit. I listen to details. She is telling everyone they are engaged. My brother doesn't realize this going on, but in the end he's okay with it. Wedding in Sept or Oct. blah, blah. Then my mom asks how I feel about it.
Me: I doesn't matter what I think. It's not my relationship. I am trying so hard to be nice and get out of answering.
Mom: well, you are his sister.
Me: I don't like it. It isn't romantic and I don't understand why they are doing this now.
Background: Bro opened his own stereo shop last June. He's really not making money yet. He is barely staying alive. Sold his truck and works at least 10 hours a day 6 days a week; usually even holidays. He is extremely responsible and would want to be stable to do anything this big. (or so I thought)

I have to stop b/c after all it is Wednesday. I am late leaving for Granny's. There is so much more to this story. I'll try to finish later.