MeMe

Okay, so I went to dinner tonight with my husband tonight. We went to a local bar and when I walked up I saw the hottest, little sex kitten...... What's up, girl? It was great to see you last night. I hope you had a wonderful evening.

While at dinner, I started grilling my husband about things that are weird about me for the Meme challenge. We came up with a few or several things about me. I'll number six for the Meme and then just list the rest.

1. When I cut my husband's hair, I have to cut it from left to right. He shaves his head with a pair of clippers and all I do is clean him up. But, I HAVE to start over his left ear, then his neck, and last his right ear. I've tried breaking the routine and I just freak out.

2. I act like a complete fool in front of children. I sing, dance, whatever it takes for them to remember the concept and learn. That being said, I get extremely nervous to speak in front of adults. My heart pounds, I get red, and I can hardly get a word out.

3. I am much more protective over my brother than I am my husband on so many points. That being said, I don't freak when my brother does a dare-devil move, but I won't let my husband so much as handle a chainsaw without me freaking out.

4. I was never a cheerleader. I never wanted to be a cheerleader. I am very uncoordinated. I never really even liked cheerleaders. (certain friends excluded, lol) I am the cheer sponsor at school. I yell at girls for not having a tight high-v. A year ago, I wouldn't have had a clue as to what a high-v was.

5. I make my husband pull out his debit card to pay dinner, groceries, shopping, whatever and then I insist on signing the bill. He actually prefers to let me sign for things, but I'm starting to see where I can be a control freak.

6. I (me & lucky) hide our blogs from one of my really close friends. We don't talk about her, we just don't want to be that close anymore. She does a really trashy boy and I don't know how to make her see that she could do so much better.

no more numbering - If I cook raw meat, whether it be chicken or something, I can't always eat it. I make an effort to be clean when I am away from home, but my house is always messy. I'm married, but I have a boyfriend. (that is really just a joke between myself and my husband's best friend.) I can think of a few other things, but I would only be comfortable telling one small circle.

Moonshine

I completely forgot about the moonshine we drank Friday night while camping. I don't know how I left this out of my original camping post. Here goes....

Sitting around a glowing fire are myself, my husband, and our camping buddies. We are enjoying good company, cold beer, and then...this woman comes crashing into our campsite. She is carrying a bottle and a shot glass. I would say that there is something unusual about this, but at Many Islands people randomly stop by for a visit. So, this woman that is wearing a dress, maybe a bathing suit cover up, big hat on her head and is not walking straight. Being from the South, she came by to share her wine. She said that her brother-in-law makes wine and it is really good. In the back of my mind I am thinking what kind of wine do you drink as a shot??? I know port wine is served in very small glasses, but not shot glasses. One of my friends took a glass and didn't make any funny faces. She actually said, "oooh, that's good." I figured worst-case scenario I could be like the girls in "Coyote Ugly" that spit there drinks back into their beers. Let me just say, I do NOT do shots. I tend to gag. I take a sip, not bad. It was very sweet, a little thick, and almost tasted like a raisin with a slight burn on the back of your throat. The Shinelady told us that it was plum wine, so I could tell where it got the raisin taste. My only problem is I don't like raisins. oh, wait and I don't do shots. I managed to get the drink down in a very slow and only slightly painful process. we thanked her and she left.

About 20 minutes later.....
I'm starting to feel a buzz. I look over at our neighbors because they are getting a little loud. Shinelady was dancing around the fire in her bathing suit. She is not a woman that I care about seeing in a bathing suit. While it was funny and I felt a little embarassed for her... I could totaly see myself dancing around a fire like in "YaYa Sisterhood" whatever the movie is called. I just wouldn't do it at the campground. I would want to be out of the public eye and I would have to learn the chant, and have a cool hat to wear. Anyway, I have strayed from the shine story. Shinelady comes back again and insists on giving everyone a shot/drink. So I pulled out cups and we all did it. It was the peer pressure. We were drunk and it took us to the finish line. The story behind Shinelady is that she was celebrating her first wedding anniversary. She was with her now husband for 12 years before they got married. (and I thought I waited too long) She kept repeating over and over how she thought the top layer of her wedding cake was going to be green since it had been in the freezer for a year. We tried to explain it to her, but she just didn't get it.

Next morning...
I am cooking breakfast and the men (with no teeth) came over from Shinelady's camp to borrow advil. We ask about her and their response was "she is still not feelin' no pain" (it pains me to type that) Shinelady woke up right after that and came over to show us her cake topper. They had it for breakfast. That is one ritual that Jason and I did not have the opportunity to partake in. (neither did lucky, sorry!) Anyway, it made me realize that there is someone out there for everyone. Man with no teeth and Shinelady made a perfect couple.

Has anyone tried moonshine? Yes, she referred to it as wine, but it was shine.

Camping

Jason and I left Friday afternoon to go our annual camping trip at Spring River. We really should have stayed home because we'd already spent $400 on Molly. She was bit by a snake. I don't know if I can handle having kids, since I was completely freaked out because my cat was sick and I didn't know what was wrong. She would just meow and bear hug me. She still has a swollen area under chin, but it is shrinking and she is killing moles again. On to camping.....

Friday night was a pretty normal night of sitting around the fire, drinking beer, and catching up with friends. We went to bed and I slept like a log. I missed some excitement though. One of my friends sleeping in another tent heard a truck stop outside our camp site. When she got up to investigate there was a KA frat boy looking for our coolers to get more beer! There was a huge amount of KA's at the campground and about 7 had been thrown out before they ever unloaded their trucks. Stupid frat boys. I have a hard time with college age kids. The girls that were with them all got up early Saturday morning to shave and put on make-up before going down the river. I don't understand that. Camping is a weekend of few showers and no make-up.

Saturday we went canoeing. Last year was Jason's first year to ever canoe. We did great last year. This year....I spent more time in the river than out. Our worst tump was my fault. Our friend S had just flipped and made it over to where we were hanging out. The movement of him coming by, moved us, and we were about to hit him in the back of the neck. I was scared that we would decapitate him or something, so I jumped ship. BAD MOVE! I went down Dead Man's Curve on my back and my side. There is nothing but shallow, fast moving current over huge rocks. Jason was behind me, so everytime I would feel a rock slam into my body I yelled, "Rock!" And in about 1 or 2 seconds you would hear Jason yell some four letter word. When I got out of the water, I was very happy to be alive able to stand. I had some boo-boos, like a golf ball on my left knee, a cut about 2 inches long just above my hip that wraps around my side, and scrapes down my back. I was bleeding, but okay. I posed for a few pics. (I'll post those when I get them from my friends.) We got back in the canoe and went on our journey down the river. That is when I found my biggest injury or as Jason calls it, my boomerang. I have a bruise from the bottom of my rose tattoo that curves down to the back of my knee. It looks kinda black today. It was a really pretty blue when I first noticed it. It's raised above the skin, too. So, needless to say We sucked at staying in the boat this year. Fun times.

15 hours of sleep

Sorry to all of those that don't get to sleep.

I arrived at home on Thursday afternoon around 4pm. I felt like I had been beaten. My muscles are sore. I've had little sleep in a twin size bed that felt like sleeping on the floor. I missed my pillowtop Serta and quiet home. My husband suggested that I should go lay down in bed for a little while. I was out in about 5 minutes! He woke me up and asked if I wanted chick-fil-a for dinner. I remember this, but have no clue as to what time it was. I went right back to sleep, only to be woken up with him bringing me my dinner. I am not complaining, because dinner in bed sounded fabuuuuulous. I really don't remember eating. I know I did, just don't remember. Husband then came back to get my trash and I crashed again. When the alarm went off at 6 this morning, I still didn't want to get up. I barely remembering telling him bye this morning and then I finally dragged my butt out of bed at 8:20 this morning. I feel like a brand new person! But, I am ready to stay in Memphis for a while.

Just my luck

I'm too pissed to blog. I have the absolute worst luck with my engagement ring. At camp today, it broke. That's right my platinum ring broke. It looks like it split at the place where it was sized. UGGHHHH! I guess I'm just lucky that I have the good husband and a broken ring, instead of a broken husband and a good ring.

What is happening to this world?

As most of you realize, I am at Cheer Camp at ASU. Fun, fun, fun...Did you know that EVERY squad now gets a spirit stick? WTF? Our girls fought with each other, didn't pay attention, and didn't know part of their routine, but damn't they had spirit.(or so they were told) It's like passing kids along, holding tryouts and letting everyone on the team. We are not allowed to damage their self-esteem. I'll get off that soap box for today. Talking about our girls not paying attention, WHEW! I think they all need ADD medication. We split them into 2 rows for our cheer. 1st row performed while 2nd watched and then vice versa, only 2nd row stopped after the 1st count. They just stood there. Now, you all know that I am not a cheerleader. I have no grace or coordination. I guarantee you if my coach was watching me I would at least keep moving even if it was wrong. At least I would be trying. The 2nd row ran laps while Woody cooled off. I thought she was going to hurt them. Why would they bother coming if they don't want to participate? Frustrating... okay, funny things... Mrs. Woody and I were standing at the camp store looking at merchandise. I decide to buy a shirt. It's really cute; green and says"cheer up". I look up after I rang up and said, "I lost my Woody." I am sure I had a really sad and pathetic look on my face since I wasn't sure which way she went. The man who rang me up just stared at me. I really didn't get it at first. Then I called Lucky to check on her after the doctor's appointment. I was telling my "pet" aka my "daughter" aka Yarber how Lucky was since she is the first person besides my husband that I told. She was really excited and wanted to know how long it would be before they would know the sex of the baby and all the cool details. (not the nasty ones) So a few girls overheard us and then one asked me when I was having a baby at the same time I answered another little girls question. This is what it sounded like:
GIRL: when are you having a baby?
ME: Thursday or Friday
GIRL: You're pregnant! and I don't know!
ME: What are you talking about?
I wasn't even listening to her, but when she told me what she thought I had answered, I was laughing pretty good. Yeah, I think I want a baby so I'll just have one this weekend so I can bring it to school on Monday. Show and Tell at 10.

Turning in for the evening. I think all the girls are tucked in and may actually go to sleep. They are exhausted. Thank goodness. : )

"Is your head on its period?"

The title is an actual quote from one of my cheer girls today. Do you see what I am dealing with for a week in AR??? The squad down the hall came to see us. They were being silly. By silly, I mean they were running up and down the hall with a towel draped down their back like superman, a bra over their shirt, and a pair of panties on their head. My girls decided to take pictures of them. I would have too, since it was such a strange sight. However, the girls reaction to such a strange question was priceless. Girls, in middle school.......
It is now 1130! screw grammar...i have been trying to type this damn thing since about 10. we had a girl that kept crying b/c she was homesick. her roommate would come get us, we'd talk her down, try to go to sleep. doors open..we yell...doors close. then a few minutes ago, we heard some loud sounds. one of the girls called the other a name and now she is crying. uhh! okay, apologize and go to bed. check on the next room...door flies open and a cell phone is shoved in my face.."uh..this is Mrs. Gordon."
Phone: "this is A*'s mom, she thinks she just started her cycle for the first time."
ME: as in she has never had a period.
Phone: Yes.
ME: okay, i can handle this (talking out loud to myself)
Phone: Thank you so much.
ME: does she know what it is?
PHone: yes, we have talked about it.
ME: oh, thank goodness. I wasn't sure I was prepared for THAT talk.

So I had to go bother some girls to come up with pads. she sure doesn't know what to do with a tampon. And I only had tampons. At least, now I know why she was crying earlier. do you remember the first time you started your period? I do. I was 10-1/2 to the day. i can't imagine doing it away from home. It was okay at first. Then, I got older and it got worse. It's hard being a woman.

Home Sweet Home

There is nothing better than coming home to my husband and my bed. I love his strong, protective arms and sweet kisses. I love my bed because it's soft and has a heater. (hubby) I leave again on Monday and don't know if I will have internet access this time.

UTM

Night 2 was freakin' hilarious. The older "wild" lady went to dinner with some 25 year-old named Zach. We'll call her D. She didn't eat dinner. She drank dinner. By the time she got back from dinner, we had been kicked out of the pool area. We dragged our hotel room chairs, our drinks, and ourselves all to the "party." Tonight it was around the stairs on the balcony of the hotel. We had new guests at our party. A group of guys from Missouri that are in Martin working on the Super Walmart. D came back from her date and joined us. She could barely stand and was sitting people's laps. Hanging on some of the guys. Then she decided to go get a glass of wine from her room. She really did not need it. We spent the rest of the evening trying to make sure she didn't spill wine on any of us. We had some man that was working on the 911 join us for about 10 minutes. I don't think he could handle us. D almost followed him to his room. We did manage to kicked off the balcony at about 11 or 1130. It was nice sitting outside and just hanging out, even with people you don't know.

Day 3 Slinky, Hair Raising, and Liquid Nitrogen
We discussed waves today, so we got a slinky and demonstrated the different types and pulses. The demonstration that we went back to last night was awesome! We played with electricity and Lisa's hair stood straight out everywhere. I've never dealt with liquid nitrogen. It was sooooooooo cool. Our professor poured liquid nitrogen all over the desk and we watched it evaporate. He put an apple in the nitrogen and then took it out. It was so hard that he used it to hammer a nail into a piece of wood. Then he threw it on the ground and it shattered to pieces. Liquid nitrogen boils when it hits the air. Science is so cool.

We tailgated last night. I was kidding the night before when I said we should, but when we made it back to the hotel after our evening demonstrations the grill was going in the back of Roy's truck. I think we are creating a whole new set of "you might be a redneck if.." or you might be staying in Martin, TN if...

Anyway, Thursday is our last full day!! Woohooo! Friday we have a short demo, awards, and a luncheon. Thank goodness b/c today is Thirsty Thursday. Margaritas tonight!

UTM Day 1 & 2

Well, we have survived 2 days of our Physics class. We are going to get some really cool supplies. Monday we played with some computer hardware that we hooked up to a motion detector. It graphed the position and velocity of the movements. Way cool! But, you do have to be a dork like me to really appreciate these things. Today we got a cart that sits on a track. The track is 120 cm long, so it fits on a lab table. There are so many things that you can do with this. We got a fan to hook to the cart and thrust it forward. Yes, I said thrust. Airplanes use propellers to move or thrust. Fun stuff.
Okay, enough about the class work. Let’s get into the people that are taking this course. You have 2 young, fabulous girls, but I’m sure you can guess who they are. Then we have KIA, aka Know It All. He is a rather large man and has to comment on everything. He keeps turning around and trying to give us the “teacher look.” HELLO! I am a teacher that look does NOT scare me! He also has to interrupt the teacher continuously. We found out that he is military background and is one of those. I love military men, but you know what I am talking about. There are those that bring that forcefulness into their everyday life and think they rank over everyone. KIA was sitting at his lab table and I noticed something a little odd. I don't have boobs, so this does not apply to me. Have you ever heard of the pencil test? If you put a pencil under your boob and it falls out your still perky and if it stays, well, you need more support. I promise you this man had a bright orange UTM pencil stuck under his left breast. I don't think he knew it was there. I think it must have rolled off the table and found a good lodging place in his chest. I wanted to call the Funny line like those commercials that rate how funny something is.
We then have Shelby. She is a hoot. She is about 50 and races BMX. She came down to our room last night and drank with us. We sat out on the balcony of the Days Inn watching the cars go by and before we knew it we had a whole crowd around us. We have a lady that we call Ms. Priss. She thinks that she is better than everyone, but wants to fit in. She freaked out last night when someone told her there were dildos at a fun party. I don't know what she thought a fun party was. My other favorite lady is Beth. She is really nice and funny. Today we went to Buck's Party Mart in Fulton to get more boos. I paid 8.75 for a 12 pack of Coors Light! (that's cheap, Lucky) We went with Diana. She is another older lady that divorced her husband 2 years ago. She is constantly on match.com or telling us stories of the men she meets. She's wild. Not sure how much of her I will be able to handle. not a good wild, but more of an annoying wild.
I am the youngest one in the class, go figure.
TTFN It's time to open the fridge and pull my chair to the balcony. ; )

UTM Day -1

Okay, so I made it Martin. We didn't even get lost with the horrible directions that the hotel gave us. My phone doesn't work. I have a full signal, but it says emergency calls only! WTF. Oh, well. At dinner we sat next to a man who lowered his head so far that he almost ate off his plate instead of using a fork. (imagine a vulture hovering over its prey) He was very creepy, strange, and country. When this man speaks to you, you really can't tell if he is talking to you or the person next to you. So dinner came, it was an okay meal. Not the best, but certainly not the worst. Then our instructor for the week started handing out information. We are going to be in class from 8-5 Monday thru Thursday!!! Good gracious. We thought, maybe, 8-3. We are going to be doing activities all day long, we get an hour break for lunch. Our meals are free in the university cafeteria. hmm, sounds yummy. On Friday, we should be out of here by 2, which puts us home between 4-5. After dinner, we made a run for the biggest joint in town....WALMART!!! Yes, that was the excitement of the evening. We bought bottled water and a jacket since it is freezing inside the school. Luckily before I came, my husband did research. I am in a dry county. No boos. I bought 2 bottles wine for us. We are now sitting in the hotel drinking red wine out of days inn disposable cups. Classy! TTFN