Have you ever been....

~~Just so you all know, this is kind of long. It happens that way when I take awhile to update. Oh, yeah and I use the word fuck.~~

so stressed that
*you see spots?
*you forget to eat?
*you cry?
*you use really bad language?
*you can't stop laughing?
*you can't speak intelligently?
*you can't stand to be around people, even those you love?
*you can't take it anymore?
*you don't what you are doing?
so mad that
*you see spots?
*you forget to eat?
*you cry?
*you use really bad language?
*you can't stop laughing?
*you can't speak intelligently?
*you can't stand to be around people, even those you love?
*you can't take it anymore?
*you won't take it anymore?

Angel of the Day: Beth Why? For not taking it anymore.
Angel of Monday: Higgy Baby Why? For beating my computer.

This week has been hell. I know it's only Tuesday night.
MONDAY
8:00 AM - My wonderful piece of technology that helps me shape the minds of my willful students CRASHED! My grades, lesson plans, documents, emails, etc. were all trapped inside. A teacher without her lesson plans is like a fireman without his water hose. Not good. I DO know what I am doing, but administrators are trained to make us believe we should be lost if we don't have them. Like we need map to navigate through our classroom. Well, I have no map for my visitors and I had a visitor. We go through an evaluation process as teachers. We have 3 evals the first 3 years of teaching, and then 3 evals every 5 years or so. You have a scheduled eval, a drop-in, and then a final scheduled. Guess what Monday was???? You betcha! It was my DROP-IN. No plans, stressed because my computer JUST crashed 15 minutes ago, and I am not even teaching a lesson. The students were presenting projects. Well, I made it through. Higgy managed to turn my computer on long enough for me to extract some info. I turned in my computer, got a loaner, and started the wonderful paperwork that goes along with evals. Little Stressed. My thoughts at this time... Fuck it! I can only do what I can do.
TUESDAY
I would LOVE to feel free to blog about all of the incidents that occurred today, however, I feel that I would risk the possibility of losing my job. If you are local and watch the news, you know what I am talking about. I just know a few more details. BUT only because I watched the news and put two and two together. I just don't know how much more we can all endure. We shouldn't have to put up with so much bullshit. When will we teach others to take responsibility for their actions. Grow up and own up! My thoughts at this time...Fuck them!(Some of you know who the "them" is.)

I never thought when I went back to school to become a teacher that so many people would look down upon me. It is amazing how little respect you are given. I am not only speaking of the students, but others in the same building and the community. It amazes me how much you give and how little you get. Not that I am in it to get anything, but every job has a final product. We try so hard to make someone's life better, but we are only taking away from our own lives. We come home overworked and stressed. We have little time and energy for our loved ones. Our patience runs thin and then we get up and do it again. Not for the pay, but for the hope. The hope that we will help someone. Our hopes are being put aside by paperwork, emails, meetings, and other unneccessary interruptions. I might as well go back to my last job. At least there I didn't have 25 or 30 children to distract me from all the paperwork.
I love what I do when I am allowed to do my job.

Hmmm, I really think I want another tattoo. Maybe this summer. Good night. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.