Thursday, June 29, 2006

MeMe

Okay, so I went to dinner tonight with my husband tonight. We went to a local bar and when I walked up I saw the hottest, little sex kitten...... What's up, girl? It was great to see you last night. I hope you had a wonderful evening.

While at dinner, I started grilling my husband about things that are weird about me for the Meme challenge. We came up with a few or several things about me. I'll number six for the Meme and then just list the rest.

1. When I cut my husband's hair, I have to cut it from left to right. He shaves his head with a pair of clippers and all I do is clean him up. But, I HAVE to start over his left ear, then his neck, and last his right ear. I've tried breaking the routine and I just freak out.

2. I act like a complete fool in front of children. I sing, dance, whatever it takes for them to remember the concept and learn. That being said, I get extremely nervous to speak in front of adults. My heart pounds, I get red, and I can hardly get a word out.

3. I am much more protective over my brother than I am my husband on so many points. That being said, I don't freak when my brother does a dare-devil move, but I won't let my husband so much as handle a chainsaw without me freaking out.

4. I was never a cheerleader. I never wanted to be a cheerleader. I am very uncoordinated. I never really even liked cheerleaders. (certain friends excluded, lol) I am the cheer sponsor at school. I yell at girls for not having a tight high-v. A year ago, I wouldn't have had a clue as to what a high-v was.

5. I make my husband pull out his debit card to pay dinner, groceries, shopping, whatever and then I insist on signing the bill. He actually prefers to let me sign for things, but I'm starting to see where I can be a control freak.

6. I (me & lucky) hide our blogs from one of my really close friends. We don't talk about her, we just don't want to be that close anymore. She does a really trashy boy and I don't know how to make her see that she could do so much better.

no more numbering - If I cook raw meat, whether it be chicken or something, I can't always eat it. I make an effort to be clean when I am away from home, but my house is always messy. I'm married, but I have a boyfriend. (that is really just a joke between myself and my husband's best friend.) I can think of a few other things, but I would only be comfortable telling one small circle.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Moonshine

I completely forgot about the moonshine we drank Friday night while camping. I don't know how I left this out of my original camping post. Here goes....

Sitting around a glowing fire are myself, my husband, and our camping buddies. We are enjoying good company, cold beer, and then...this woman comes crashing into our campsite. She is carrying a bottle and a shot glass. I would say that there is something unusual about this, but at Many Islands people randomly stop by for a visit. So, this woman that is wearing a dress, maybe a bathing suit cover up, big hat on her head and is not walking straight. Being from the South, she came by to share her wine. She said that her brother-in-law makes wine and it is really good. In the back of my mind I am thinking what kind of wine do you drink as a shot??? I know port wine is served in very small glasses, but not shot glasses. One of my friends took a glass and didn't make any funny faces. She actually said, "oooh, that's good." I figured worst-case scenario I could be like the girls in "Coyote Ugly" that spit there drinks back into their beers. Let me just say, I do NOT do shots. I tend to gag. I take a sip, not bad. It was very sweet, a little thick, and almost tasted like a raisin with a slight burn on the back of your throat. The Shinelady told us that it was plum wine, so I could tell where it got the raisin taste. My only problem is I don't like raisins. oh, wait and I don't do shots. I managed to get the drink down in a very slow and only slightly painful process. we thanked her and she left.

About 20 minutes later.....
I'm starting to feel a buzz. I look over at our neighbors because they are getting a little loud. Shinelady was dancing around the fire in her bathing suit. She is not a woman that I care about seeing in a bathing suit. While it was funny and I felt a little embarassed for her... I could totaly see myself dancing around a fire like in "YaYa Sisterhood" whatever the movie is called. I just wouldn't do it at the campground. I would want to be out of the public eye and I would have to learn the chant, and have a cool hat to wear. Anyway, I have strayed from the shine story. Shinelady comes back again and insists on giving everyone a shot/drink. So I pulled out cups and we all did it. It was the peer pressure. We were drunk and it took us to the finish line. The story behind Shinelady is that she was celebrating her first wedding anniversary. She was with her now husband for 12 years before they got married. (and I thought I waited too long) She kept repeating over and over how she thought the top layer of her wedding cake was going to be green since it had been in the freezer for a year. We tried to explain it to her, but she just didn't get it.

Next morning...
I am cooking breakfast and the men (with no teeth) came over from Shinelady's camp to borrow advil. We ask about her and their response was "she is still not feelin' no pain" (it pains me to type that) Shinelady woke up right after that and came over to show us her cake topper. They had it for breakfast. That is one ritual that Jason and I did not have the opportunity to partake in. (neither did lucky, sorry!) Anyway, it made me realize that there is someone out there for everyone. Man with no teeth and Shinelady made a perfect couple.

Has anyone tried moonshine? Yes, she referred to it as wine, but it was shine.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Camping

Jason and I left Friday afternoon to go our annual camping trip at Spring River. We really should have stayed home because we'd already spent $400 on Molly. She was bit by a snake. I don't know if I can handle having kids, since I was completely freaked out because my cat was sick and I didn't know what was wrong. She would just meow and bear hug me. She still has a swollen area under chin, but it is shrinking and she is killing moles again. On to camping.....

Friday night was a pretty normal night of sitting around the fire, drinking beer, and catching up with friends. We went to bed and I slept like a log. I missed some excitement though. One of my friends sleeping in another tent heard a truck stop outside our camp site. When she got up to investigate there was a KA frat boy looking for our coolers to get more beer! There was a huge amount of KA's at the campground and about 7 had been thrown out before they ever unloaded their trucks. Stupid frat boys. I have a hard time with college age kids. The girls that were with them all got up early Saturday morning to shave and put on make-up before going down the river. I don't understand that. Camping is a weekend of few showers and no make-up.

Saturday we went canoeing. Last year was Jason's first year to ever canoe. We did great last year. This year....I spent more time in the river than out. Our worst tump was my fault. Our friend S had just flipped and made it over to where we were hanging out. The movement of him coming by, moved us, and we were about to hit him in the back of the neck. I was scared that we would decapitate him or something, so I jumped ship. BAD MOVE! I went down Dead Man's Curve on my back and my side. There is nothing but shallow, fast moving current over huge rocks. Jason was behind me, so everytime I would feel a rock slam into my body I yelled, "Rock!" And in about 1 or 2 seconds you would hear Jason yell some four letter word. When I got out of the water, I was very happy to be alive able to stand. I had some boo-boos, like a golf ball on my left knee, a cut about 2 inches long just above my hip that wraps around my side, and scrapes down my back. I was bleeding, but okay. I posed for a few pics. (I'll post those when I get them from my friends.) We got back in the canoe and went on our journey down the river. That is when I found my biggest injury or as Jason calls it, my boomerang. I have a bruise from the bottom of my rose tattoo that curves down to the back of my knee. It looks kinda black today. It was a really pretty blue when I first noticed it. It's raised above the skin, too. So, needless to say We sucked at staying in the boat this year. Fun times.

Friday, June 16, 2006

15 hours of sleep

Sorry to all of those that don't get to sleep.

I arrived at home on Thursday afternoon around 4pm. I felt like I had been beaten. My muscles are sore. I've had little sleep in a twin size bed that felt like sleeping on the floor. I missed my pillowtop Serta and quiet home. My husband suggested that I should go lay down in bed for a little while. I was out in about 5 minutes! He woke me up and asked if I wanted chick-fil-a for dinner. I remember this, but have no clue as to what time it was. I went right back to sleep, only to be woken up with him bringing me my dinner. I am not complaining, because dinner in bed sounded fabuuuuulous. I really don't remember eating. I know I did, just don't remember. Husband then came back to get my trash and I crashed again. When the alarm went off at 6 this morning, I still didn't want to get up. I barely remembering telling him bye this morning and then I finally dragged my butt out of bed at 8:20 this morning. I feel like a brand new person! But, I am ready to stay in Memphis for a while.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Just my luck

I'm too pissed to blog. I have the absolute worst luck with my engagement ring. At camp today, it broke. That's right my platinum ring broke. It looks like it split at the place where it was sized. UGGHHHH! I guess I'm just lucky that I have the good husband and a broken ring, instead of a broken husband and a good ring.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

What is happening to this world?

As most of you realize, I am at Cheer Camp at ASU. Fun, fun, fun...Did you know that EVERY squad now gets a spirit stick? WTF? Our girls fought with each other, didn't pay attention, and didn't know part of their routine, but damn't they had spirit.(or so they were told) It's like passing kids along, holding tryouts and letting everyone on the team. We are not allowed to damage their self-esteem. I'll get off that soap box for today. Talking about our girls not paying attention, WHEW! I think they all need ADD medication. We split them into 2 rows for our cheer. 1st row performed while 2nd watched and then vice versa, only 2nd row stopped after the 1st count. They just stood there. Now, you all know that I am not a cheerleader. I have no grace or coordination. I guarantee you if my coach was watching me I would at least keep moving even if it was wrong. At least I would be trying. The 2nd row ran laps while Woody cooled off. I thought she was going to hurt them. Why would they bother coming if they don't want to participate? Frustrating... okay, funny things... Mrs. Woody and I were standing at the camp store looking at merchandise. I decide to buy a shirt. It's really cute; green and says"cheer up". I look up after I rang up and said, "I lost my Woody." I am sure I had a really sad and pathetic look on my face since I wasn't sure which way she went. The man who rang me up just stared at me. I really didn't get it at first. Then I called Lucky to check on her after the doctor's appointment. I was telling my "pet" aka my "daughter" aka Yarber how Lucky was since she is the first person besides my husband that I told. She was really excited and wanted to know how long it would be before they would know the sex of the baby and all the cool details. (not the nasty ones) So a few girls overheard us and then one asked me when I was having a baby at the same time I answered another little girls question. This is what it sounded like:
GIRL: when are you having a baby?
ME: Thursday or Friday
GIRL: You're pregnant! and I don't know!
ME: What are you talking about?
I wasn't even listening to her, but when she told me what she thought I had answered, I was laughing pretty good. Yeah, I think I want a baby so I'll just have one this weekend so I can bring it to school on Monday. Show and Tell at 10.

Turning in for the evening. I think all the girls are tucked in and may actually go to sleep. They are exhausted. Thank goodness. : )

Monday, June 12, 2006

"Is your head on its period?"

The title is an actual quote from one of my cheer girls today. Do you see what I am dealing with for a week in AR??? The squad down the hall came to see us. They were being silly. By silly, I mean they were running up and down the hall with a towel draped down their back like superman, a bra over their shirt, and a pair of panties on their head. My girls decided to take pictures of them. I would have too, since it was such a strange sight. However, the girls reaction to such a strange question was priceless. Girls, in middle school.......
It is now 1130! screw grammar...i have been trying to type this damn thing since about 10. we had a girl that kept crying b/c she was homesick. her roommate would come get us, we'd talk her down, try to go to sleep. doors open..we yell...doors close. then a few minutes ago, we heard some loud sounds. one of the girls called the other a name and now she is crying. uhh! okay, apologize and go to bed. check on the next room...door flies open and a cell phone is shoved in my face.."uh..this is Mrs. Gordon."
Phone: "this is A*'s mom, she thinks she just started her cycle for the first time."
ME: as in she has never had a period.
Phone: Yes.
ME: okay, i can handle this (talking out loud to myself)
Phone: Thank you so much.
ME: does she know what it is?
PHone: yes, we have talked about it.
ME: oh, thank goodness. I wasn't sure I was prepared for THAT talk.

So I had to go bother some girls to come up with pads. she sure doesn't know what to do with a tampon. And I only had tampons. At least, now I know why she was crying earlier. do you remember the first time you started your period? I do. I was 10-1/2 to the day. i can't imagine doing it away from home. It was okay at first. Then, I got older and it got worse. It's hard being a woman.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Home Sweet Home

There is nothing better than coming home to my husband and my bed. I love his strong, protective arms and sweet kisses. I love my bed because it's soft and has a heater. (hubby) I leave again on Monday and don't know if I will have internet access this time.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

UTM

Night 2 was freakin' hilarious. The older "wild" lady went to dinner with some 25 year-old named Zach. We'll call her D. She didn't eat dinner. She drank dinner. By the time she got back from dinner, we had been kicked out of the pool area. We dragged our hotel room chairs, our drinks, and ourselves all to the "party." Tonight it was around the stairs on the balcony of the hotel. We had new guests at our party. A group of guys from Missouri that are in Martin working on the Super Walmart. D came back from her date and joined us. She could barely stand and was sitting people's laps. Hanging on some of the guys. Then she decided to go get a glass of wine from her room. She really did not need it. We spent the rest of the evening trying to make sure she didn't spill wine on any of us. We had some man that was working on the 911 join us for about 10 minutes. I don't think he could handle us. D almost followed him to his room. We did manage to kicked off the balcony at about 11 or 1130. It was nice sitting outside and just hanging out, even with people you don't know.

Day 3 Slinky, Hair Raising, and Liquid Nitrogen
We discussed waves today, so we got a slinky and demonstrated the different types and pulses. The demonstration that we went back to last night was awesome! We played with electricity and Lisa's hair stood straight out everywhere. I've never dealt with liquid nitrogen. It was sooooooooo cool. Our professor poured liquid nitrogen all over the desk and we watched it evaporate. He put an apple in the nitrogen and then took it out. It was so hard that he used it to hammer a nail into a piece of wood. Then he threw it on the ground and it shattered to pieces. Liquid nitrogen boils when it hits the air. Science is so cool.

We tailgated last night. I was kidding the night before when I said we should, but when we made it back to the hotel after our evening demonstrations the grill was going in the back of Roy's truck. I think we are creating a whole new set of "you might be a redneck if.." or you might be staying in Martin, TN if...

Anyway, Thursday is our last full day!! Woohooo! Friday we have a short demo, awards, and a luncheon. Thank goodness b/c today is Thirsty Thursday. Margaritas tonight!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

UTM Day 1 & 2

Well, we have survived 2 days of our Physics class. We are going to get some really cool supplies. Monday we played with some computer hardware that we hooked up to a motion detector. It graphed the position and velocity of the movements. Way cool! But, you do have to be a dork like me to really appreciate these things. Today we got a cart that sits on a track. The track is 120 cm long, so it fits on a lab table. There are so many things that you can do with this. We got a fan to hook to the cart and thrust it forward. Yes, I said thrust. Airplanes use propellers to move or thrust. Fun stuff.
Okay, enough about the class work. Let’s get into the people that are taking this course. You have 2 young, fabulous girls, but I’m sure you can guess who they are. Then we have KIA, aka Know It All. He is a rather large man and has to comment on everything. He keeps turning around and trying to give us the “teacher look.” HELLO! I am a teacher that look does NOT scare me! He also has to interrupt the teacher continuously. We found out that he is military background and is one of those. I love military men, but you know what I am talking about. There are those that bring that forcefulness into their everyday life and think they rank over everyone. KIA was sitting at his lab table and I noticed something a little odd. I don't have boobs, so this does not apply to me. Have you ever heard of the pencil test? If you put a pencil under your boob and it falls out your still perky and if it stays, well, you need more support. I promise you this man had a bright orange UTM pencil stuck under his left breast. I don't think he knew it was there. I think it must have rolled off the table and found a good lodging place in his chest. I wanted to call the Funny line like those commercials that rate how funny something is.
We then have Shelby. She is a hoot. She is about 50 and races BMX. She came down to our room last night and drank with us. We sat out on the balcony of the Days Inn watching the cars go by and before we knew it we had a whole crowd around us. We have a lady that we call Ms. Priss. She thinks that she is better than everyone, but wants to fit in. She freaked out last night when someone told her there were dildos at a fun party. I don't know what she thought a fun party was. My other favorite lady is Beth. She is really nice and funny. Today we went to Buck's Party Mart in Fulton to get more boos. I paid 8.75 for a 12 pack of Coors Light! (that's cheap, Lucky) We went with Diana. She is another older lady that divorced her husband 2 years ago. She is constantly on match.com or telling us stories of the men she meets. She's wild. Not sure how much of her I will be able to handle. not a good wild, but more of an annoying wild.
I am the youngest one in the class, go figure.
TTFN It's time to open the fridge and pull my chair to the balcony. ; )

Sunday, June 04, 2006

UTM Day -1

Okay, so I made it Martin. We didn't even get lost with the horrible directions that the hotel gave us. My phone doesn't work. I have a full signal, but it says emergency calls only! WTF. Oh, well. At dinner we sat next to a man who lowered his head so far that he almost ate off his plate instead of using a fork. (imagine a vulture hovering over its prey) He was very creepy, strange, and country. When this man speaks to you, you really can't tell if he is talking to you or the person next to you. So dinner came, it was an okay meal. Not the best, but certainly not the worst. Then our instructor for the week started handing out information. We are going to be in class from 8-5 Monday thru Thursday!!! Good gracious. We thought, maybe, 8-3. We are going to be doing activities all day long, we get an hour break for lunch. Our meals are free in the university cafeteria. hmm, sounds yummy. On Friday, we should be out of here by 2, which puts us home between 4-5. After dinner, we made a run for the biggest joint in town....WALMART!!! Yes, that was the excitement of the evening. We bought bottled water and a jacket since it is freezing inside the school. Luckily before I came, my husband did research. I am in a dry county. No boos. I bought 2 bottles wine for us. We are now sitting in the hotel drinking red wine out of days inn disposable cups. Classy! TTFN

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Weddings...ba hum bug

I just want to throw in the towel on a couple of weddings. Guess who is planning a bachelor party? Yes, that is correct a bachelor party. You know with boobs, beer, and gambling. My husband is the best man, but has passed his duties on to me. I don't really mind helping with the planning, but it is really strange to call random men and discuss a bachelor party in Vegas. I guess that is why my hubby doesn't want to do it. He hates talking to people he doesn't know. My dress has changed for this wedding. Here's the new one. It's still pretty, but not as elegant as the first. Another girl had already chosen the first dress and the bride forgot. The new one is cheaper anyway. I am in the mood to skip the wedding all together, but I can't do that. I really wish I had an excuse.
Update on Bubba's wedding:
The bride has stopped talking to my family. She hasn't been to my grandmother's in about a month. (We go to Granny's for dinner EVERY Wednesday.) She is upset b/c my mother asked her to work out the details with my brother. WTF! It's not like Mom said you need to do it his way, she simply advised her to talk/communicate with my brother. Is that so wrong? No, b/c a marriage is not going to last unless you communicate with your spouse. I hate that things have changed so much. I loved her before all of this happened. It makes me wonder.. was that the real S or was she just waiting to get what she wanted. She had been talking about marriage since they got together. She moved in with him after dating only a month, maybe two. I really think it was just one month. I supported them. They were happy. She was sweet, nice, and easy to get along with. Oh, I don't know what to do. I'm just laying low for now.

Maybe I should go on strike. I could save a lot of money. I have 3 weddings coming up. Sept, Nov, and Dec. UGH!!! So far, the Sept wedding is going to cost a fortune.
$330 x 2 for plane tickets; $200 for my dress; $89 + tax x 2 for the hotel room; $150 for tux; Jason's time off work; any extra expenses while in Detroit; $45 each way for taxi from airport to hotel; hotel sex with hubby: priceless. Why, oh, why did I agree to this? I was flattered. I had my ego stroked when I was asked to be in the wedding. It's amazing how when someone compliments you and asks you to do something, you are more likely to do it. I should try it on my hubby.....I can see it now....
Baby, your arms are huge, can you lift this heavy trash and take it outside?
Baby, you are so hot, I want you to take off all your clothes and put them in the washing machine. Don't forget the detergent!
Okay, I'm back in reality. I'll quit bitching and go for now.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Stolen ideas

I stole this b/c I liked it. (kinda like my 1st place ribbon at field day. I stole b/c I was the hottest teacher,so I thought I should get 1st place. Ha!)

I am – a teacher.
I want – the best for my students and a baby for me. (not working on the baby yet)
I wish - my mom realized how important she is to me.
I miss – when I didn't have responsibilities.
I fear - death, failing, and bugs.
I hear – me typing on the keyboard.
I wonder - if others wonder about me, like I wonder about them.
I regret – very few things.
I am not – mean.
I dance – when I drink.(once on a pole after a few drinks ha.ha!)
I sing – in the car.
I cry – easily.
I am not always – happy.
I make with my hands – dinner.
I write – conduct slips.
I confuse – myself.
I need – to be more organized.
I should – try harder.
I start – many projects.
I finish – very few unless I get my hubby involved.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Details, Details

I was so proud of myself last night. I went to Target and bought presents for a baby shower that I am attending on Saturday. Those of you who don't know me, this is a BIG deal. I usually run out the night before or the day of and try to buy at the last minute. I knew the Mom-to-be was going to find out the sex of the baby on Monday and so I looked her up on babies-r-us and for some reason it wouldn't pull up. So, my bright self decided to look her up on Target...just in case. To my wonderful research I see her name and her husband's Darren. Woohoo! I don't have to drive very far and NO one has bought anything. It says that she is having a little boy. I am so excited that I have figured all this out without even having to bother the expecting Mother. Maybe I should be a Privite I. I assume she must have registered after she found out the sex and is extremely excited about her shower at the Raquet Club on Saturday. How good am I? Fabulous, not only do I have an entire registry to choose from, I am not waiting until the last minute. Go me, Go Mrs. G. You see, the mom-to-be is living in England. Her husband is from England and she moved there about a year or so before they got married. I am friends with her mother and met mom-to-be at Bunco one night. We hit it off and next thing I know, I am at a bachelorette party and a wedding. We email back and forth a bit. Tonight at Huey's I ran into the mom-to-be and her sister. (i was so craving a cheeseburger after chasing kids at field day. lucky will tell you how bad i looked) I am completely embarassed b/c I look like hell. So, I say hi, congrats, I hear its a boy. Oh, how? Well, I saw your registry at Target.......hmm, I didn't register at Target. oh, I guess I need to look at that again.
---Came home and checked it out. The due date is June 22 and the name is spelled differently. HOW F'n BAD is that!!!!!! I actually printed the registry, made the cashier go back and put the items I bought on the registry, and it was the wrong F-n registry. Now, some poor expecting mother thinks someone bought her booties, mittens, a hot duck, and bath toys. I feel horrible!!!!! I hope my friend likes what the other mother registered for, b/c I'm too tired to think about it all. Lesson Learned: Pay attention to details. I am a teacher. I should know this. : (

Saturday, May 20, 2006

They set the date

My brother is getting married on December 2, 2006. I was told that he told his bride not to talk to him about the wedding. He didn't care anymore and he would just show up. So, I am going with the same attitude. She told my mother that as adiment as he was about it being small, she was about it being big. I'm out of it. I will support her when she asks. I can do nothing else. I now have 3 weddings next year. The first is Sept. 16th for my husband's bestfriend. We are both in the wedding and have to go to Detroit. I picked out my dress today. It is very pretty! Here is a pic if you want to see. It will be in Wine. They are a great couple and I am very excited for them. The second is actually the groom from above's ex-girlfriend. We have remained friends and I am invited to the wedding. (kind of weird b/c he's not) I am keeping her guestbook. We are taking digital photos for the guestbook. It should be really cool. Then, my brother's will be the next weekend. Oh, I am gonna be broke.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Career Day

Today was career day at school. We had parents volunteer to come in and speak to the children. Some parents were great and others we really could've done with out. I felt really bad for the man that was so proud that he installs automatic doors. Hey, someone has to do the job. I understand that. It's just that he thought 40K a year was a BIG deal. It is for some families, but bless his heart he spoke right after a very upbeat electrical engineer that promised a much larger salary. I have to say one of my favorites was a truck driver. He absolutely loooooves his job. He has been driving for 16 years and said that he would never do anything else. It's nice to see humble, down-to-Earth people.
6 days left!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Part II

Okay, I left off with finding out my bro was getting married. Because my mom told me and there was no official proposal.

Monday - Mom went to her safety deposit box for her wedding rings.
Background: My father died in a plane crash when I was 5. I wear his wedding band on my right hand. It was my present for high school graduation from my mother. My brother has his other ring that he recieved for graduation. Marshell walked me down the aisle at my wedding. He had broken ribs, fractured tailbone, lacerated kidney and was told not to. He even put his cane to the side. (He was supposed to be on crutches.) Back to phone conversations.....
Mom: So I went to the safety deposit box today.
Me: Okay.
Mom: I had them change your name.
Me: Good, I need to add a few things and really don't want the hassle.
Mom: I took out my wedding rings.
Me: okay.
Mom: I gave them to your brother for S.
Me: well, that's the best idea i've heard so far.

I am thinking that at least he doesn't have to spend any money. Yes, I trust her to wear my mother's wedding rings. I really do. (That's a good sign, right?)

When they discussed getting married, Marshell said he wanted a very small ceremony and a big party. S. agreed with him. Since then, she wants the whole package. I am talking 160 people at the ceremony, compared to the original 10 or less. I'm pissed. My brother should get what he wants. This was discussed before she got the ring! I am so nervous and upset. I decide I need to talk to my brother.....Mom encourages me saying that I can talk to him without him getting upset with me. Sorry, I never realized that he wouldn't get upset with me. I always concerned that I would upset him. I need his approval. I know it stems from my past. Mom thinks it will be okay.

So I started talking. I told him I was not going to be happy until I asked a few questions...I asked, he answered. I felt a little better EXCEPT he said "I am ready to have kids. It sucks that I have to get married first." How am I supposed to feel? Better yet, How is his fiance supposed to feel? Then she started pressing the big wedding. He refused saying he wouldn't show up.
Tonight is Wednesday. We always go to my Granny's house. ALWAYS!!! This tradition started when Grandaddy died a few years ago. S. called mom and wants her to go look at a place for the wedding. First wedding news in about a month. I get a little upset, b/c my mom never misses and my hubby isn't going with me tonight. Then mom calls and says that everything went well. They like the place and it sounds like they are having a full wedding. Is my brother okay with this? We don't know. We haven't talked to him yet.

I'm frustrated once again. I talked to my physcologist earlier (Lucky). Am I afraid to let him go or is this not right? (Sorry, but I just had a total SITC moment.) If they are going with the full wedding, Bubba mentioned she wanted me in it. I don't know if I want to be. I know that I am probably having a hard time letting him go. I used to do everything for him. Shopping, errands, you name it I was there. It hasn't been that way in a while. Am I upset b/c I don't want him to make a mistake or Am I upset b/c I feel like I am loosing him? I know I am scared that I don't think S. is strong enough to take care of him. He is completely different frm any other man I know. I want him to be happy. So for now I choose to stay out of it. When Mom and I got off the phone..I said, "I don't think I am in the mood to discuss M and S's wedding at this time." I can't avoid it for ever, but I'll try for a while.

P.S. If you are reading this and don't usually comment......keep it to yourself if you see me, my husband, my family, or my friends somewhere. Don't make it uncomfortable. Thanks a bunch. ;)

Feelings Part I

I hate to admit this.... but I am having a really hard time with the thought of my brother getting married. I can't think of a better person to be my s.i.l., but I just don't think now is the time. My happiness should not matter in his relationship, but I want to throw a temper tantrum. I guess I should start at the beginning. Lord, I hope this stays in blogger land...

Beginning of March
My friend saw my future s.i.l. at a store buying maternity pants. She wanted to buy a stroller/car seat combo, too. Friend talked her out of it. She is NOT preggo. I found this odd, and thought my brother would totally freak the fuck out if he knew. Lots of gossiping with mom over this. But, future sil told my mom what she bought. Weird?!? I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable.

A week later....Every Wednesday we go to Granny's for dinner. While sitting at the table talking to the family and cutting up, I see future s.i.l. whispering to my mom. All I hear is "baby." I really freak the fuck out. What? Is she pregnant? I want to ask, but can't bring myself to. Surely, she would tell ME. I just choke instead. My heart is beating out of my chest. I leave and wait about 3o minutes to call mom.......
Me: Are you still at Granny's?
Mom: No, I'm on the other line with S. Can I call you back?
Me: UGH! As long as you will tell me what the fuck is going on?
Yes, very rude of me. I cursed while speaking to my mother.
She calls back and tells me that my brother, MY brother proposed the idea of having children to S. I'm lost. I don't think I know him. I thought I did. We were pretty close, but...do I really know him at all? She won't have children until she gets married. (Good for her)

End of March
I'm working hard on Sunday night to finish all the things I have to do for school on Monday. I always procrastinate. I am trying to drink, work, and watch Sopranos. I am busy! I am woman. I can multi-task. Phone rings..Who would call me during Sopranos? Everyone knows that you don't call my house on Sunday evening. Mom. hmm...

ME: hello?
Mom: Well, it looks like we're going to have a wedding.
Moments of silence......
Me to hubby: I'll be in the bedroom. Hubby to Friend: She's pissed.

Future s.i.l. and Mom had been out shopping. F.s.i.l. told mom they were getting married. hmmm.....no real proposal. I sit. I listen to details. She is telling everyone they are engaged. My brother doesn't realize this going on, but in the end he's okay with it. Wedding in Sept or Oct. blah, blah. Then my mom asks how I feel about it.
Me: I doesn't matter what I think. It's not my relationship. I am trying so hard to be nice and get out of answering.
Mom: well, you are his sister.
Me: I don't like it. It isn't romantic and I don't understand why they are doing this now.
Background: Bro opened his own stereo shop last June. He's really not making money yet. He is barely staying alive. Sold his truck and works at least 10 hours a day 6 days a week; usually even holidays. He is extremely responsible and would want to be stable to do anything this big. (or so I thought)

I have to stop b/c after all it is Wednesday. I am late leaving for Granny's. There is so much more to this story. I'll try to finish later.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

8 More Days

Sometimes I feel like I am trapped in crazy place....not my life, but my work. I was so frustrated at school today. I have a lot of patience. I really do. I just wanted to scream and run out of my class room. We have a few students that I just can't tolerate anymore of and I don't know what to do. The site of these students, their voices, their attitudes....I just can't do any more for them. I don't want to see them anymore. Then I feel bad. They are children. They might have a bad home life. Well, I am sick of excuses.....cancer as a baby, so they can't help their behavior; raised by one parent; blah, blah. Just because you don't have any money or you don't live with your dad, doesn't give you the right to yell at me, hit someone, or just be a total shit. I know I sound insensitive, but I have bent over backwards all year and now I am snapping. 8 more days and I will be free of these students. Who knows what next year will bring?!? Could it be worse? Now that I have said all that I feel a little better.

Good students - Last week was teacher appreciation week. My homeroom threw me a suprise party. It was really sweet. They had cookie cake and chips. My room was decorated. Made me feel good.

Thursday, May 11, 2006




Okay! A few pics for you. the first is of my girls (cheer) completing community service. I think they wore more paint than the walls. The other two are of my tree that was worn out. It decided to rest on my chimney during the storms a few weeks ago. My backyard looks awful, but no damage to the house. : ) We've go to remove the stump and plant a new tree. We just haven't decided on what type of tree to plant.

SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!!!! I have 2 weeks left. That is 11 school days as of right now. I can't wait. I need the break for my mental health. I am going crazy. The kids are wild...remember I have middle school students! We don't have books and are just coming up with things for them to do. I have a whole project about a mission to the moon for next week. I just can't figure out what to do about the last week of school. This week we researched Science careers. And those of you that are envious of my Summer break....(wait a sec, I have to jump on my soapbox) WE WORK THOSE HOURS DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Most people who put in these kind of hours get paid a whole lot more. We get 8 weeks for break. I will be out of town for 3 weeks of my break. I am taking a class at UT Martin for Science. I am going to Cheer camp with my girls. AND last and definately the best, I am going to Destin in July. Jana and Dave are going with us. How cool is that? It will be a little weird, since we're not used to having anyone with us. But I am so excited. I am just tire of packing. I am packing up my class room. We have to do this every year since SPED summer school is at my school. It really sucks. Imagine moving something like your office every 10 months. All the files, pictures, posters, and supplies go with you. WHERE!! Last year, in my den. I am hoping I can butter up my f-i-l this year and use the warehouse. Well, enough rambling. Have a fabulous weekend. I am throwing an engagement party for a friend so I will be busy. OH! And I almost forgot - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! to all the mom's and soon to be's. : )